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Brideski's! Brideski's!! Brideski's!!!

G'day Comrades, Brucey here. Sign up, Sign Up!! Yes folks, it's Bruce's Internet Bride Store, brought to you by me Bruce, and me Cousin Ernie. All bride's hand are selected for their delectable appearance and willingness to travel to YOUR country to be your WIFE! No more lonely loser for YOU! "For ME?" I hear you say. That's RIGHT!. You'll find the love of your life here at Bruce's Russian Bride Emporium OR YOUR MONEY BACK! Don't wait around on the internet wanking off to pictures of ladyboy amputees, a NEW LIFE is awaiting you with your GORGEOUS Russian Brideski!

Be the envy of your friends as you parade your bew-ti-ful Russian wife around the local Kmart. No one will believe you landed a girl SO lovely and SO loyal to you! How do we know their loyal? Because we keep a family member of each bride RIGHT HERE at our Parramatta werehouse. She leaves, little Sergei gets it. It's that simple.

*ALL PRICES ARE IN POUNDS*



Here is a taste of what bride's you will be choosing from as you browse our Personals Gallery. Stunners, aren't they? That one in the green used to work in the KGB and can fit an ENTIRE supermarket trolly full of groceries up her bum crack. NO MORE FOOD BILLS PUNTERS!



Okay here we go! First bride off the rank is Olga:

23 year old Olga enjoys keeping fit and studying philosophy at the University of Commiegrad. Not just a pretty face, Olga will make you feel out-thunk on just about any subject. Some people love an intelligent woman, to me they're just annoying bitches. Cheap at 280 pounds



Next up we have the lovely Volga:

No one makes blondes quite as sexy as Mother Russia. Volga is a hairstylist and heavy weight chess champion. She enjoys posing in felching lingerie and pleasing her man. Usually 420 pounds, but Cousin Ernie went over to Russia and soiled this one already. A steal at 380 pounds.



Our next bride to be is Brolga:

Sorry, folks. Just a bit of Crimean humour there. "Crimean River, crimean river, I cried a river..." oh fuck off.



Right next bird, er I mean bride, is Yelenavich:

As you can see, Yelenavich loves sunbathing and swimming. She hails from a former whaling town on the Baltic sea. When not showing off her curvaceous body at the beach, Yelenavich enjoys farm sex, house demolition, high speed tractor races and distorting the earth's magnetic field. 410 pounds.



Now for the gentleman who prefers something more petite:

Just a joke. Back to the brides...



Our next Russian beauty is Ilyovski:

Ilyovski is a natural blond, if you get my drift. S/he is a fitness fanatic who spends her free time at the gym. She can bench press 4 gym instructors and a circus bear (no relation). She also lists pigging out on junk food "American style" amongst her hobbies, so should fit in with the average ice cream raised Seppo lard arse. 230 pounds.



Well that's about it, desperadoes! Take you're pick from our gallerie and make payment to brucefromsydney@yahoo.com, that's brucefromsydney@yahoo.com.

Be sure to check back often folks, as we are regularly scouring the Siberian wasteland for non-Chernobyl Brides, just for you! Brides purchased from Bruce's Internet Russian Bride Store are GUARANTEED 100% for 2 years. No other mail order service can match our UNIQUE policy*. Don't wait a minute longer! Each Bride packed in environmentally friendly polystyrene bubble wrap and sent to your door via speedy Surface Mail. Visas? Fuck that, that'll only encourage her to explore the neighbourhood. No, our Brides are as legal as a drug addicted Muslim. You'res, and you'res alone! Email us NOW! at brucefromsydney@yahoo.com, that's brucefromsydney@yahoo.com.

*please check radiation clause




Fun! FUN!! FUN!!! at one of our "ON FOR ONE AND ALL Meet Your Russian Bride Parties" with Demis Roussos.

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